Papouli once said…

“… these are things that belong to the grace of God. There is nothing of my own. God gave me many gifts, but I did not respond; I proved myself unworthy. But I have not abandoned my efforts, not even for a moment. Perhaps God will give me His help so that I can give myself to His love.

That’s why I do not pray for God to make me well. I pray for him to make me good.

…

It doesn’t concern me how long I will live or whether I will live. That is something I have left to God’s love. It often happens that you don’t want to remember death. It’s because you desire life. That, from one point of view, is a proof of the immortality of the soul. But whether we live, or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”

+St. Porphyrios of Kavsokalyvia, Wounded by Love
(I think it’s from the section “On Illness,” but I can’t remember)

O Cross of Christ, intercede on our behalf!

Rejoice, life-giving Cross of the Lord,
Thou never-conquered battle trophy of piety,
Support and staff of the faithful,
The wall surrounding the Church
And the door that leadeth unto Paradise;
Through Thee hath corruption been made to vanish and be no more,
Death’s mighty power hath been vanquished and swallowed up,
And we have been raised from earth to celestial things.
O truceless foe of demons, and our weapon invincible
Thou art the glory of martyrs and true adornment of all the Saints,
Calm port of salvation,
That which granteth the great mercy of God unto the world!
from the Vespers Aposticha of September 14, HTM translation

There was once a time when I thought that praying to the Cross was extremely weird. And on some level, I suppose I think it still is.

However, I also do not think it is possible to understand the power of the Cross, the meaning of the Cross, and even the Cross itself without praying to it.

The early Christian martyrs (and the early Christians generally) had a much different relationship with the Cross than we do now (at least in my estimation). The Cross was the gate to Paradise — first because the Cross mediated the death of the God-man Christ and thus made possible the Resurrection, and second because it is by imitating the Cross and embracing the sufferings of martyrdom that they themselves gained Paradise. The Cross has active power and grace. The Cross is the key and the ladder to Paradise.

If it doesn’t make sense to pray to the Cross, I encourage you to try, and to stick with it for a while. The hymn above is a good place to start; the two that follow it in the service are also addressed to the Cross. It is what I prayed when I thought the entire expedition and effort was stupid, and it totally transformed how I see the Cross.

Blessed feast day, friends! Through the intercessions of the Cross, may God grant us the strength to do our homework, go to our medical checkups, clean the kitchen, stand up to tyrants, defeat idols, and be kind to all people, Amen.

Bright Friday: the life-giving spring

Christ is risen!

What a wonderful Pascha this has been!

Lent was rough and Holy Week was (for me) horrible, but all that is washed away in the grace of the Resurrection.

With Bright Week comes abundant energy as well as abundant work, as the end of my first semester in grad school is drawing nigh and all of my papers and projects are due in the next two weeks. But this too is a joy; with God’s grace life goes on.

Now that the common Saviour of all has died on our behalf, we who believe in Christ no longer die, as men died aforetime, in fulfilment of the threat of the law. That condemnation has come to an end; and now that, by the grace of the resurrection, corruption has been banished and done away, we are loosed from our mortal bodies in God’s good time for each, so that we may obtain thereby a better resurrection. Like seeds cast into the earth, we do not perish in our dissolution, but like them shall rise again, death having been brought to nought by the grace of the Saviour. That is why blessed Paul, through whom we all have surety of the resurrection, says: “This corruptible must put on incorruption and this mortal must put on immortality; but when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, ‘Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is thy sting? O Grave, where is thy victory?'”
St. Athanasius, On the Incarnation, Section 21
(SVS Press, trans. by “a religious of C.S.M.V.”)

(I bet you didn’t think there would be such a marvelous quote about Pascha from On the Incarnation, did you?)

The main thing I have been learning on repeat this semester (particularly in my Dogmatics class, but also in Liturgics as well) is that everything, absolutely everything, that God does is for our salvation; that is, everything is directed at the restoration of us fools to His grace and participation in His incorruption. This is such a profound statement, and even writing it I know I cannot communicate the full force of what it means (and I honestly probably don’t even know the full force of what it means, because for that I would probably have to be a saint).

It is a wonder, a holy mysterious wonder, and I am so blessed to be able to study theology as I do.

Thank you all for your prayers. It is my hope and prayer that Christ and His Spirit (the Spirit and His Word), always ever present together with us, grant us the thirst that can never be quenched, except by the never-ending and life-giving spring of the grace of our God.

A Gentleman in Moscow: reviewed

Yesterday I finished reading Amor Towles’ marvelous novel entitled A Gentleman in Moscow. It is the sort of book one reads languidly over several cups of tea and a scone, but which then prompts one to jump up and be polite, punctual, and engagingly philosophical in all meetings one might have that day.

In many ways, I would characterize this novel as the grown-up’s A Little Princess. There, one is kind and cheerful despite one’s circumstances; here, one masters one’s circumstances with cheerfulness and civility. Both take place in a limited geographical location, yet our gentleman has traveled more and is generally more cosmopolitan, so the world is naturally larger and more interesting.

Towles’ mastery of characterization is so thorough that even the clocks in the hotel become a vibrant part of Rostov’s interaction with the world. The hotel is, of course, a major character, and one which grows, changes, and gets older just as Rostov does. The areas in the hotel become characters, from the Boyarsky (my favorite) to the attic (my other favorite). Somehow the Hotel Metropol becomes the universe, just as much as it remains the still small point from which the entirety of the world is experienced.

And this world is experienced through the eyes of His Excellency, Count Alexander Rostov, Former Person and erstwhile resident of Idlehour. If he had a business card, it would say, “circumstances met & challenges faced with excellency and good humor.” He is a lovely man who would be a delightful acquaintance in real life.

Now, I’m not going to talk about the thing that happens at the end of Book 1, or the thing that happens at The End, so you’re just going to have to read it and find out.